First-Time Managers

What Will You Bring to 2021?

I love New Year’s Day because it feels like a symbolic time when we can begin again (even though we can begin again at any time of the year). During 2020 there has been a lot of time to reflect on our lives because our schedules forced us to change and stay put.

During this period of reflection, I found there are some things that I want to keep as a result of 2020, and others that I want to say good-bye to. For instance, I joined a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) in 2020. The fresh produce was great. As a result, I tried new recipes and felt like I ate very nutritiously. So, in 2021 I want to keep that up. However, I can tell you that I can’t wait to go out to dinner with friends and have someone else cook for me without worrying that the person at the next table might be infected with the virus. From a professional perspective, I attended remote classes and all kinds of interesting webinars that changed the way I coach, hopefully in a positive way. I want to continue that development because I want to show up as the best coach that I can.

So, I ask you what are you bringing into 2021 that you discovered in 2020, and what are you going to let go of? It is personal for everybody, and the situations you find yourself in is unique to you.

What did you find that was satisfying about 2020 and how did it make you feel? I chose not to go to the gym even when it opened. Instead, I walked outside and found different routes to take. What got reaffirmed for me is that being outside in nature is very fulfilling and really makes me feel alive, even on the coldest days. It also turned out to be a time where I could talk with my neighbors and feel that human connection. In our previously very busy lives that didn’t happen very often.

When I talked to people about their careers or the companies they work for some discovered that it was time to move on. While others said they realized they worked for a great company because of the way they were treated during this unprecedented time. Some said that they wanted to move on but didn’t think they should try to change roles during a pandemic. This is totally understandable if this is where you find yourself. However, I would ask everyone what can you do to prepare themselves for that next move or opportunity? Is there a project that would provide an opening for learning new skills or creating visibility to others about just what you have to offer? Does your resume need to be updated? Do you need to reach out to a mentor? Putting some steps in motion can be very beneficial as we leave the pandemic behind us and our world begins to open up. It can make us feel like we are taking action towards our goals which can fuel our motivation to keep going.

I realize I am writing from a place of privilege because I haven’t lost my job or worried about how I am going to pay my bills or put food on the table. I am very grateful for that. If this is where you find yourself, I know taking those next steps may seem daunting. However, even taking baby steps will get you to where you need to be. Find a friend or mentor to help you stay motivated all along the way. You don’t have to do all of this alone, and people want to help. If 2020 taught us anything it is that we are very resilient and we need others. Remembering that resiliency and those relationships will not only carry us into 2021, but also beyond that.

Happy New Year! I hope 2021 brings health, and prosperity for all of you.

Donna Aldrich is a Leadership Coach and Author who works with Individuals and Corporations to build strong leadership skills that drive both people and corporations forward. She believes everyone can lead from where they are.

Is Authenticity Holding You Back?

In the workplace, we hear and speak of showing up authentically quite often. Miriam-Webster describes someone who is authentic as “true to one’s own personality, spirit, character.”

It’s important to show up authentically, not only so others can see you as you are, but so you can be comfortable in your own skin. When you can feel comfortable being yourself, you show up more confidently. Your presence in the room or even in zoom meetings changes in a positive way.

What does showing up authentically mean to you? For me, when I am behaving in a way that is aligned with my values, I feel like I show up authentically. That isn’t all of it, I also feel like I show up authentically when I am willing to take a risk that has the possibility of perhaps me showing up awkwardly or vulnerably and being okay with that. I can honestly tell you that people around you are excellent at determining who is and isn’t being authentic. They may initially give you the benefit of the doubt, but if you are behaving in a way that doesn’t match the words that are coming out of your mouth, they discover quite quickly whether they can trust you. Trust is the bedrock of relationships, and when it gets eroded, it is hard to win that back.

So, when does being authentic hold you back? Recently a client told me her boss wanted her to be more assertive. The boss felt like it would give her more exposure in her career when she was able to present her point of view more confidently. This would also help her get the recognition and the opportunity she desired. She felt that in doing so she wasn’t going to be her authentic self. We talked about whether that was really true. Which of her values was the boss pushing up against that she felt she couldn’t be herself? In our continued conversation, she realized that she wasn’t compromising any of her values. She was being asked to develop a skill that would benefit her in her current job, and her career, even though it made her feel a little uncomfortable.

Authenticity can’t be used as an excuse to be unprofessional, rude, or disrespectful. Being any of those things are inappropriate and may definitely hold you back. However, it has nothing to do with being authentic.

What may hold you back in your career is when you mistake a learning opportunity for compromising who you are because you are a little fearful. In evaluating each situation where authenticity comes up for you, ask yourself, “If I do this, will I be compromising any of my values? Is this about authenticity or is it about fear of not doing it well enough?”

We have all felt like an impostor at times, feeling like we don’t know enough, aren’t smart enough, don’t have enough experience. However, it is through our experience of trying and having a plan to keep practicing that the feeling of imposter recedes. So always be your authentic self and keep the door open for learning opportunities.

Communication Podcast by Donna Aldrich

"I like to say you can communicate just about anything, but it is often how you communicate that really matters. Take a listen to my podcast which talks about the opportunities leaders have in communicating impactfully to their teams."

Donna Aldrich is an author and certified professional coach with expertise in Executive and Leadership coaching. She works with both current and aspiring leaders to develop their skills so they can lead from where they are confident.

Her specialty is partnering with her clients and providing tools to create action oriented plans that drive their careers forward in a decisive manner while they maintain integrity, professionalism and their authenticity.

First-Time Managers Start Here: Building a Solid Foundation for New and Aspiring Managers is available on Amazon.

Close Up Radio Spotlights Donna Aldrich of Aldrich Coaching

North Andover, MA – Donna Aldrich is the founder of Aldrich Coaching where she provides leadership coaching at all levels of an organization to help people to become better leaders and advance their careers.

“Coaching is about facilitating the conversation to bring in new perspectives and widen the lens so leaders can be effective. Taking the time in a coaching session to reflect through powerful questions can be very helpful.”

“Leaders have to figure out how to get results through their team in order to really elevate themselves,” says Donna.

According to Donna, results are important––they are your ticket through the door––but how you collaborate, communicate, innovate and develop yourself and others is also critical.

Donna is the author of First-Time Managers Start Here: Building a Solid Foundation for New and Aspiring Managers.

“There's relatively no training for first-time managers, nothing that gives first time managers the fundamentals,” says Donna. “First-Time Managers Start Here is where new and aspiring managers begin. It's a really practical guide that answers all the questions first time managers have and provides them the blueprint they need to be successful in their first management position and beyond.”

For more information, visit www.aldrichcoaching.com

First-Time Managers Start Here: Building a Solid Foundation for New and Aspiring Managers is available through Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Personal Branding Podcast by Donna Aldrich

In this podcast, Donna Aldrich talks about the components of your Personal Brand and gives some real-time examples of how to use and leverage your Personal Brand.

Donna Aldrich is an author and certified professional coach with expertise in Executive and Leadership coaching. She works with both current and aspiring leaders to develop their skills so they can lead from where they are confident.

Her specialty is partnering with her clients and providing tools to create action oriented plans that drive their careers forward in a decisive manner while they maintain integrity, professionalism and their authenticity.

Check out her most recently published book: First-Time Managers Start Here: Building a Solid Foundation for New and Aspiring Managers available on Amazon.

 
 

Celebration!

This past weekend we celebrated my mother’s 90th birthday. My sister and brother and I had to decide how to acknowledge her life (90 years is a very long time!) in this very difficult time of a pandemic. The questions we asked were “What would be meaningful for her?” “Who should be involved?” “What can we afford?” “What would be safe?” The day after her birthday my mother couldn’t stop raving about how she felt so acknowledged. My siblings and I knew we hit the mark.

All of this made me think about how you recognize not only your employees but those around you that may not work for you. Are you recognizing people intentionally? What I mean by this is do you know specifically why you are recognizing the person or people, or are you spreading recognition like peanut butter. For example, we feel good about thanking a team for their contributions, but can you specify what the team did or what each team member did to make whatever it is a success? The more specific you can be, the more connected you get to the people and the work they do. Even if you are not the direct manager, ensure you have the right information from a person in the organization that does know. I can tell you that it matters in a positive way when people feel as though you know the work it took to get such a great result. One of my coachees said to me in our discussion around recognition and her manager, “How am I doing a great job if he doesn’t tell me the specifics?” Be intentional!

Recognize achievements with something meaningful; meaningful to the person you are recognizing. For instance, if the person doesn’t drink coffee, a Starbucks gift card may not be the best choice. Also, some people do not like public recognition. If that is the case, find ways to recognize the person in a way that is private for them. However, it is important to let your manager and others know what this person has accomplished. Ask for their permission in sharing discreetly. This can have a positive impact on a promotion, a rating, or added responsibilities.

Recognition doesn’t have to be big and cost lots of money. I love handwritten notes of thanks. Having an ice cream social may be just what the team needs after a heavy lift. Even in times of Covid-19 sending a small gift card for all to purchase their favorite dessert that you share on zoom has also worked.

Timing is very important. Don’t wait too long after great results to say thank you. The moment may be lost and the impact on the employee may be too late to be effective. Also, you don’t have to wait until the end to celebrate longer-term projects. Celebrating milestones along the way is a good idea and will help provide the motivation for your team to keep going.

 When it comes to recognition and celebration it isn’t complicated. Be Intentional. Be Specific. Be Timely.

P.S. This works in your personal life as well.

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Do You Know What is Expected of You?

In my coaching calls last week there was a lot of talk about performance management. Whether I was talking to the manager or the individual contributor I asked if the employee in question knew what was expected of them. I asked individuals if they knew what the manager wanted, by when, and how they would accomplish what was needed? For the manager, I asked if they were they clear in communicating what the employee needs to do, and how they would support them? This mismatch of understanding is often a great source of conflict for both. It’s funny how both parties get impacted. Both get frustrated, question themselves and each ends up dissatisfied in the relationship.

What can both the manager and employee do to help start with a clear understanding? Typically, companies set goals for employees either quarterly, biannually or annually. Those goals are documented so that each person knows and understands what they need to accomplish and by when. Managers can really help by using frameworks such as OKRs (Objectives and Key Results) or goals that are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time bound) to get really clear on what the objective is.

For example, asking employees “to grow their understanding of the new ERP system by the end of the quarter” is vague and leaves too much room for interpretation. We have a big disconnect if I have learned 2 modules and the manager thought 5 modules is more of what they wanted to see. I would not have met the managers expectations in this example. Also, I would have been frustrated when I received a “partially meets” on my performance of this objective. Managers need to be as specific as possible as to what successfully meeting the goal means. If individuals see an objective that is vague, ask the manager to be specific or make a recommendation to the manager about what you think is best. This can help drive a conversation between the two of you to get to greater specificity.

You also see this misalignment of expectations when performance starts to shift to the negative. Prior to being placed on a performance improvement plan (PIP) there ought to be a lot of dialogue about why the employee is not meeting expectations. What is it that they are not doing? Missing a deadline is easy to define. Not acting as a team player is more difficult. Providing solid examples of what you as the manager need to see to correct the situation is critical to the employee’s success, as well as your own. Employees need to be diligent in not only understanding what is expected, but also informing the manager of progress. The manager doesn’t see all that is going on. This is especially true if you are remote from your manager, and in the midst of a pandemic we are mostly remote. Usually the manager and employee meet more than they normally would during this time to assess whether progress is being made against the expectations set. It is very beneficial for the employee to report on what has been done. It is up to the manager to provide coaching and feedback as to whether enough progress has been made. And managers, it is quite unfair to change expectations midway through the process.

Relationships have been hurt, employees have left jobs because they didn’t believe they could be successful, people have been terminated as a result of unclear expectations. If you are the manager, be very clear. If you are the employee, ask questions. Clear communication on both sides will go a very long way in building a relationship of trust.

Read Next: So You Think You Want to be a Manager

So, You Think You Want to be a Manager…

People decide to go into management for any number of reasons.  When I ask people why the want a management role many say they like the idea of helping to grow and develop others.  Some say it is the way to advancement in the company.  And still others say they want to have a larger impact in the company and the way to do that is to have a team so they can influence more. It can be all of these reasons or others.

It’s important to understand your intention when going into management.  Whether you go into the role to grow and develop people, or you want to advance your career; in either case, it requires you to care about the people you are managing.  Even if your intention is to advance your career, it requires that you have the best interest of the team in mind as you work towards your success.  Your success is dependent on the team and the team’s success is dependent on you. Your actions speak volumes, and the team will know very quickly whether you are in it for yourself or truly care about them.  Caring about them means learning about them and what motivates them, understanding what they do, setting goals and objectives with them, finding ways to support them in achieving these goals, and holding them accountable to meeting expectations. And then recognizing them when they do it well.

 As an individual contributor you must deliver results on the goals agreed to by you and your manager. You are mainly responsible for getting your job done. It doesn’t mean that you don’t rely on others in some way (data, handoffs, etc.), however, the work is yours. As a manager, you are still responsible for driving results, but now you must do that through others versus doing the work yourself.  This is a hard change for new some managers to master.  They want to ensure the team is producing quality work so not only does the team look good, they look good too.  This is totally understandable and good for everybody.  However, often new managers jump into solves problems rather than coach those on their teams to solve the problems. In the “hurry up” pace in the world of work, I understand how that might happen, but as a manager, it is your job to coach, motivate and inspire your team to get quality work done,  and done on time. Remember, your way is not the only way and you need to bring an open mind to how the work gets done.

There are some working managers where part of their job is managing the team and the other percentage of time is spent on doing individual work. I’ve especially seen this in software engineering. This seems to work because it gives the person people management experience, yet they stay close to the work they love. However, this probably works better at an entry-level management role.  As you move up in the organization this will not work as well. At the higher levels of management, the expectation is that you become more strategic versus tactical and there is really no time to do the individual work. So, if you want to continue to achieve as an individual because the actual hands-on work is so important to you, then perhaps a management career is not for you. 

 Finding ways to communicate to your team is vital if you are to be successful in your role of manager. There are all types of communication needed from the manager to the employees. For example, your team wants to feel connected to the business, and if you don’t push down information from higher up or you don’t push it down fast enough, that can become a problem. People may perceive that you don’t trust them with the information or even that you don’t care enough to provide the information.  So, when thinking about taking a management role know that communication is a very big part of the job.

 There are individuals that want to move up in their careers and know that they don’t want to manage people. Some companies are establishing career tracks for those individual contributors. So, as you are looking for the right company ensure that you are asking the question around promotability and growth so you don’t hit a dead end.

I often hear from people that they don’t want to become people managers because politics play too big a role and they don’t want to deal with it. If that is the only reason you don’t want to be a manager, you may want to rethink this.  You don’t have to play politics, but as a manager, you need to be aware of how decisions are being made, how to engage stakeholders so you get what you need, and how to ensure the work that you and your team are doing is getting recognized. Being aware of how your environment works is important to your success and the success of your team.

 At the end of my book, “First Time Managers Start Here”, I quote Jim Autry who says:

 “Indeed make something of yourself, try your best to get to the top if that’s where you want to go, but know the more people you try to take along with you, the faster you’ll get there and the longer you’ll stay there.”

 You get to decide whether a career in management is right for you. What do you think?

 

If I’m in the Right Company, Am I in the Right Job?

Last week I talked about whether you were working in the right company and began to unlock that answer by asking:

Do my values align with the values of the company?

Does the leadership of the company inspire and motivate me?

Is there room to grow and develop and is it encouraged?

 This week we begin the discussion with the assumption that you are in the right company so are you in the right job? Factors such as clear goals and expectations, growth and development supported by your manager, being empowered, recognition and team dynamics all play a part in determining if you are in the right role.

One of the important components to understanding if you are in the right job is understanding if the expectations of your job are clear. Nothing causes more confusion or leads to more disappointment if you and your manager are not aligned here.  You and your manager should agree on what your goals are, and what you will achieve by when. Goals must also be achievable. It doesn’t mean there can’t be stretch goals. It is good to try to move beyond what you think you are capable of.  However, there should be a balance between achievable and stretch goals and you should understand exactly what is expected of you.  If goals change due to unforeseen circumstances in the organization, the expectations for your performance should change as well. Understanding expectations through dialogue with your manager will help prevent you from being overloaded with work.  Priorities may shift and they often do, but work can’t be a continual pile on. Trying to do it all without relief is not a recipe for success or job satisfaction.

Are you empowered to get your job done without being micromanaged? It is important to feel trusted by those around you including your manager.  Taking the initiative and making decisions should be encouraged. I often hear managers say, “This is how I have done this in the past.” when handing over responsibilities to their direct reports.  This sets up the employee to think that is the way the manager wants to see it done.  This doesn’t leave much space for the employee to be creative or come up with their own way of working.  A better method may be to ask the employee how they might handle a project or situation first.  I see this happening in meetings as well.  The manager asks for employee feedback but says “Here’s what I think,” prior to anyone else speaking.  As a manager it is a good idea to collect the feedback, repeat back what you have heard and then maybe share your opinion.

Are you being recognized for the results you are achieving? Recognition comes in many forms and everyone is motivated differently. It can be monetary recognition or public recognition. It may be recognition in the way of promotion, or in taking on new responsibilities.  You need to decide what is important to you, and ensure your manager knows what kind of recognition you are looking for.

Is your manager engaged in your growth and development? Depending on where you want to go with your career, it is important for your manager to support your journey.  Not having room to grow is one of the biggest reasons people leave their jobs.  Not only does the organization’s culture need to support the growth and development of its employees, the manager needs to do so as well.  You and your manager should set aside time to discuss what you would like to achieve, or where you would like to grow, at least a few times a year.  The manager can help pave the way by making introductions, showcasing your work to others, and exposing you to new experiences.  This is a two-way street, however, and you need to do your part in taking initiative and meeting commitments when these opportunities are presented to you.

Understanding your strengths is also an important component of answering this question. Do you know what your strengths are?  If yes, then are these the skills you are using to get your job done? Playing to your strengths is important in job satisfaction.  Studies have shown that you grow faster when you play to your strengths.  This doesn’t mean that you don’t develop your gap areas, especially if they are required in the job that you do.  We don’t all have the luxury of delegating to others who are stronger in those areas.  You must understand what is required of you in those gap areas in order to be successful and perform to that level. To close the gap, you may need assistance from your manager or your peers.   You may also need to take some additional training.

Do you enjoy working with your colleagues? The team or department dynamics play an important role in establishing relationships at work.  Do you trust your teammates? I believe collaboration and support of colleagues are important in our day to day job satisfaction.  Can you reach out to a colleague when you need help? Are you willing to offer support when someone else needs it? Again, the manager plays a very important role in modeling and fostering collaboration and respect within the team.

There may be other reasons for you to stay in your current job.  It is personal to you. However, if answering the questions above produces many negative responses, then perhaps it is time to think about a change.

Knowing When It’s Time to Say Goodbye to Your Company

This pandemic has brought about many changes in our lives.  In addition to working from home (if you are lucky enough to be able to work from home), people are finding themselves home schooling children, finding creative ways to be entertained, and doing lots of home project.  They are also finding time to reflect because there are fewer outside distractions.  People that I have been working with are asking the question, “Am I in the right job and/or am I in the right company?” Pre-pandemic these questions may have come up, but you might have squashed them a bit because you were “too busy.”  Now is a great opportunity to take the time to consider where you are and where you want to be.

Let’s dive into the question, “Am I at the right company?” Here are some questions to ask yourself:

Do my values align with the company values?

This is an important question and you need to understand what your core values are.  Take a few minutes to think about the 3 or 4 values that drive how you act and behave as you do.  Are they in alignment with the company that you work for?  Is the leadership across the company or organization living those values?  For instance, if openness and transparency are values that the company says it holds, is there a good strategy and practice of sharing and communicating up, down and across the organization?  There should be.

 Does the leadership inspire you to want to do your best work?

 This is very personal because each person is inspired by different things. Is there a vision and mission that provides direction and aligns with the work that you do? I was coaching in a credit card company where people were inspired by the company’s work in providing purchasing power to non-governmental organizations (NGOs) around the globe. Who would have thought that that this is how a credit card company inspired its employees.  What is it that you are looking for in your leadership and are you seeing that?

 Is there still room for your growth and development within the company?

This may or may not mean that you want to climb the ladder, however, most people that I work with want to learn new skills and do work that makes a difference in meeting the objectives of the company. Do you have a manager that supports your efforts to take on new projects, and new skills?  When you take the initiative to innovate or improve, is it recognized and welcomed?  It is important that your manager support your efforts and finds ways to help you grow and develop. If your manager is not doing this, are there other managers in the company who can help you?

During this pandemic I hear people also say perhaps this isn’t the right time to be looking for a job, or I should just be grateful that I have a job.  Gratitude is always important in our lives.  However, if you believe the company that you are working for is not the right company for you, there are steps that you can take to look for that new company without immediately making a move. Build your criteria for the kind of company you want to work for and then do some research on companies that meet your criteria.  Search for people through your network, or on LinkedIn who are part of those companies, and set up a virtual coffee with them or do an informational interview.  Check out Glassdoor to understand what people are saying about your choice of companies.  Talk to your friends and family about companies and organizations they work for and enjoy. Stay connected so when opportunities arise, you are prepared.  Yes, it takes a bit of work, but it is definitely worth the time invested.

Next blog we will discuss “If this is the right company, am I in the right job?”  So, tune in for next week’s blog.

How to Make the Most of Your Midyear Review

Last week the topic of midyear reviews came up numerous times so I thought I would address some of the questions that arose.  In all of my years of management I can tell you that people want to receive feedback, however, the more formal process of the performance appraisal and the midyear review are perceived as a negative.  There are many reasons for this one being the time that it takes to complete.  Questions that come up often are: What do I write?  How much do I write? How do I talk about myself in a way that doesn’t sound like bragging?  What’s the importance of it if only my manager is going to see it?

All very good questions so let’s take a look at them.  What do I write?  Most individuals in companies and organizations have goals to be accomplished, and these goals can be quarterly goals, midyear goals or goals for the year. Always use the goals that have been set by you and your manager as a way to drive your midyear narrative. Focus on outcomes and results as a way to be clear about what you have done, and then include how you accomplished what you did, especially if it was complex. For instance, if you were a project lead and needed to drive consensus across stakeholders, include that.  This is a skill that is critical in project management and an important skill across the business.  Illustrating how you have used that skill is important.

Many of the forms that companies use allow for additional reporting somewhere on the form.  Use that area for those items that you want to include that may be unrelated to the goals agreed upon by you and your manager.  If you have had the opportunity to work on items outside the scope of your job, you want to get credit for that.  There are times you do things (i.e. mentoring a new employee) that your manager might not be aware of.  The caution is not to give every detail about your day to day operations, but how you did against the goals set by you and your manager, as well as anything that you did above and beyond that.

In completing your self-appraisal, you want to ensure your manager knows what you have accomplished and how you have attained success even if only partially at the midyear.  This is especially important if you have a remote manager, and today in a pandemic, many are working from home so everything being done is remote from your manager.  If managers are not doing one on one’s regularly, how will they know what you have accomplished if you don’t tell them?

Generally speaking, I hear from more women than men that they don’t want to sound like they are bragging about their accomplishments.  Speaking in “I” versus “we” can be difficult but necessary.  Both are important in our vocabulary since we all work together and there are many handoffs in how work is completed.  However, it is important to differentiate yourself from the “we.”  For instance, “I led the team through a series of workshops and as a result we were able to complete the development on time.”  This is different than, “We conducted 4 workshops and completed the development on time.”  In the second I do not know what role you played. For women (and this goes for men too) talk about impact to the team and/or the business as it relates to your results.  This may make using “I” easier, and if there is any implicit gender bias from the reader’s perspective it still reads “team player.”

Managers are typically the one’s looking at mid-year reviews, however, there are lots of good reasons for doing them.  We talked about the issue of remote management which makes this review important. This is also a time for you to review and reflect on the work that you are doing.  Am I doing good work?  Is it fulfilling and purposeful?  Do I need to course correct to get my progress back on track?  What do I need from my manager to be successful? Do my goals need to be revised because of a change in the organization or department? Where do I want or need to grow and develop? 

We don’t often spend enough time thinking about these questions. Having the chance to answer those questions makes the process worthwhile, and hopefully allows you to feel like you are doing meaningful work. 

If your company conducts a yearly performance appraisal, completing the midyear review well will make it easier to complete at year end. Take the time to make it count!

Having Your Word: Managing Difficult Conversations

The theme from this week’s coaching is being able to say what you have to say in a way that the other person hears you. As I listen to coachees, there is always an uneasiness when we have to say something that we find uncomfortable or say something that we believe will make the other person feel uncomfortable, or perhaps will misunderstand. It is interesting because it doesn’t matter the role you play in an organization. The manager doesn’t want the employee to feel bad in hearing constructive feedback. On the other hand, the employee doesn’t want the manager to hold it against them if he/she provides constructive feedback to the manager.

In one example a manager had to have a conversation with an employee who was not performing when working from home. She literally had to text the employee to ensure assignments were being completed after the project due dates were missed. This particular employee is quite capable because while working in the office, he got the work done effectively and efficiently.

In another example, the individual’s boss was being a micromanager and continued switching priorities so there was too much work to do with nothing having priority. It was hard to keep up with the workload! This employee hadn’t had a conversation with his manager because he didn’t think it would change anything. How many times have you hung on hoping for change?

These situations and many others require preparation, honesty, clarity, negotiation, and agreement. This is where a coach or trusted advisor can be instrumental in having a successful conversation. Role playing with another gives you practice beforehand, and well worth the time spent if this is an important conversation.

In preparing, understand what is going on from your perspective. What are you observing? What needs to be clearer for you? Understand what the real issue is. Sometimes we think it is one thing, and digging down deeper and asking “why” may be helpful in discovering it is really something else.

How is this situation impacting you, the business, those around you? Is the team being impacted by this person not meeting expectations? Is the constant indecision and priority setting creating a high level of stress? Be able to articulate the impact so the other party understands.

Ask for the other person’s perspective. Saying something like, “I have observed that when we are in staff meetings, you are not giving others the opportunity to provide their feedback before cutting them off. Teammates are feeling frustrated by that. I would really like to understand what is going on from your perspective.” And although it is very difficult to remain silent, give the person the opportunity to speak. Because these conversations can be difficult, we often find the need to fill in the empty spaces. Try to refrain unless you are asked a question. At times defenses are raised and I would encourage you to come back to the issue and impact calmly versus making the situation confrontational.

Once you have agreement on what is going on, talk about what you would like to see from the person to change the situation. Be as clear as you can be. Leave the meeting with both parties having the same understanding. It may take some negotiating depending on the situation and what you learn from the other person’s perspective.

Lastly, in addition to being intentional, be authentic, and be thoughtful. The person to whom you are speaking will be appreciative and you will feel better. Win Win!

Read More: First-Time Managers Start Here: Building a Solid Foundation for New and Aspiring Managers by Donna Aldrich

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